Fighting a Losing Battle

I registered for SBMPTN (Joint Entrance Test for State Universities*) today. In that test, all the software engineering skills I learned in my technical high school will be rendered useless because what I will be tested in is (aside from basic math and language and psycho-potential thingamabob) humanities, comprised of economy, geography, history, and sociology. Not only that I am weak in memorization–which is what geography, history, and sociology needs, I assume–I barely learned any of those in school. This will be my moment of “bringing a knife to a gunfight.” But the knife is dull. And made from plastic. And it has no handle.

* translation stolen from The Jakarta Post. I can always count on them to give me English-translated version of Indonesian terms.

IMG_20170413_134400
The new Rp 2000 bill and my office friend Monkickey.

Why the hell did I even attempt it, then?

Well, the test is basically just me sitting down and filling out multiple choice answer sheets. Yessiree, just like I always did back in high school, I’ll be counting on my luck instead of my intellect. I’m an instinct-following beast.

But you can’t blame me for trying to rely on my luck, though! I mean, I made it this far because I’m lucky. I’m lucky to have good parents, I’m lucky to have been born healthy, I’m lucky to have things go my way with minimum effort… There’s lousy sides to my life, too, but not so much. Having a life like that should be pretty lucky, right?

It’s not like I didn’t study at all, though. I read up on humanities material too, like the offer curve, differences between classical and Keynesian economics, and where Germany is on the world map. I doubt it’ll make much of a difference, I mean, I can’t beat the brains of this year’s fresh-from-the-oven graduate students that actually studied humanities, but it kind of builds my confidence, and that might affect my luck somehow. From anecdotal experience, I seem to be less lucky when I’m shivering in negativity.

That’s not the only thing I prepare. No matter how confident I am, it doesn’t change the fact that, to me, this SBMPTN is less of a test and more of a gamble. I have to have backup plans. My plan B is, as anyone would’ve guessed, to enter a private university. It’s more expensive than state universities, (that’s the reason why I even considered trying my luck in SBMPTN) but my financially smart Mother said we have savings so it’s not a problem. Thanks, Ma.

So… er… dammit. Why am I trying so hard for a literary degree? It’s not like it has any use… I hope I don’t regret this decision later.

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